Wanted one so bad I went and did everything wrong…
GEEZ! What a shitty year it’s been. Sorry, but I need to Vent. This is the best way. Things just keep piling up. This hasn’t been my year at all. Its been terrible. It starts to look better but then the carpet gets pulled from underneath me. There was a girl, now I think there is no shot of that happening ever. shame too. I was so close and been liking her for a very long time. But instead cupid flipped me off and crapped on my windshield. Then I turned the windshield wipers on only to find there was no fluid and made it that much worse.
I’ve got to find some way to get out of this funk! I mean geez, it’s getting ridiculous. I’ve never had a problem with stress, and still don’t ever get stressed out. But used to, I never was down in the dumps. I was always happy, even if still realistic about things.
I guess it all started last winter, when I decided it’d be a good idea to fall for a girl. Yeah, that went pretty terrible. Since the last time, waaaay back in ’05-’06, I’ve had a strict no visitors allowed policy when it comes to matters of the heart. But hey, we had a million things in common, she is a super awesome chick, she just happens to be a lying whore also. Now, I mean that in the nicest way possible. I mean going into it I knew she’d been around in the past… buuut I figured hey, having a kid now surely matured her, made her willing and ready to settle on down. Well kids, that’s why you never assume. Took things slow, I said if anything at all changes, just tell me and I’ll back off… 3 months later I get word that she’s seeing someone else. Two weeks after that I hear it again. Two weeks after that she admits it after I start being an asshole but she swears it just happened two weeks previous… I didn’t bring up what I knew. Deleted her totally and entirely from my life.. and she said I was selfish for doing that! Still haven’t understood how she figures that… Then about a month later someone else plops into my lap, things are great for about two weeks, after that was just one lie after another after another. Again, a lying whore. The other poor guy is still eating her shit. I hope it works out for him.
Then comes the current heartache, probably the only one worth being upset over. This was partly my fault, partly her asshole of an ex’s fault, and I will reserve some fault to her. She’s as hardheaded as I am. That’s a looonnngggg story, that I’m not sure I want to go into right now.
Anyways, this past weekend was my birthday weekend, As well As Squirrel Season Weekend. It’s kind of a holiday where I’m from… Schools let out and everything. Everyone heads to the woods and there are big parties and such. I’d invited her down to come stay last time I’d talked to her…. which was like a month before… She disappears a lot. Mostly when things are going too good. She said alright. Well never did hear from here. showed up down there with someone else, kind of topped off my aggravation because she’d just vanished the past month or so before hand. Pretty much gave her the cold shoulder all weekend. And it upset her and here I am. Probably no way to make it right with all that’s gone on. Chalk another one up to foolish pride.
Now I’m sitting here watching Postseason baseball, my favorite time of year. It is keeping my mind off of things… kind of. I don’t think much will get her out of my head anytime soon. Wish I could make things better.
-Your Friendly Neighborhood Ox
